Theyd thought my mother was barren, and so the King ordered for her to be placed far, far away from him. He took in dozens of concubines at the request of his council. He had morning walks with the slave girls of war and nightly rendezvous with errand boys to quench his never-ending lust.
Lust my mother never satiated.
He left her untouched for three weeks until the royal advisor convinced him to try once more. And he did. He visited her rundown palace one night and ravaged her until she can no longer move a muscle. He did not have much hope for her because he firmly believed she was infertile.
But then, as if the heavens took pity on her, she got pregnant.
The king was overjoyed and held banquets to honour my mother and her child. She finally thought that it was finally time for her to be happy with the man she so loved. And it made her ecstatic. He presented her with material things — jewellery, gowns and dresses, diamonds and pearls — he thought would satisfy her. But mother was never a materialistic person, for the very thing she sought for was the Kings love.
My fathers love.
Love that was directed to a favourite errand boy he found working in the palace stables. The very boy hed sleep with. Yes, my father was a sodomite. A being that was heavily frowned upon in the kingdom — by the people, by the temple and by our Goddess — and will be sentenced to death by burning and stoning if anyone found out.
And my mother knew. But like a foolish young girl who yearned for her loves attention, she said nothing and wallowed in the pain as she watched him embrace someone else.
My mother was there for show, she knew better than anyone else why he had kept her by his side—she was of noble blood and was part of the most powerful family the King needed backing and support from. He was nice to her and cared for her since she was carrying his child. But when my mother gave birth to me, a female, he snatched me away from her arms and handed me to the wet nurse. With not so much as a glance, he ordered for my immediate execution.
Female first borns are frowned upon in his Empire as it was believed that they would grow up to be witches—the demons children. But my mother pleaded that he spare me and threatened the king to remove her familys support if he continued on with the execution.
And so he granted me my only mercy.
On one condition, to hide me away from the general public, locked up in a single mansion. The wet nurse was compensated with money to keep the secret.
Not long after they had me, my father threw her away once again and went back into the arms of his lover. He was aware that he needed an heir and that his lover cannot bestow him with such a thing because he was not a woman. So he tried again with my mother.
I am four when my mother gave birth to my younger brother, the crown prince.
The moment my father heard of the boy, he bestowed him the name of Cedrin and tried to take him away from my mother to hand over to his lover. But mother fought and threatened him again with her family name. The King gave in and allowed her to raise the heir of his throne. She knew that she was never going win his affections.
We were the only ones she has in the palace.
He visits our palace once a month to bring mountains of gifts to my younger brother. He doted on Cedrin and scorned me. But my mother gave us an equal amount of love and it never felt unfair at all. I loved my younger brother because thats what mother taught me from the ver
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